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    11/8/2009

    偶像的黄昏

        借用尼采的著作名来做我这篇文章的题目,我认为非常贴切,因为我想表达的不仅仅是一种情绪,更是一种力量,一种不为人知的可怕的力量,或许那就叫做死亡。

        歌手陈琳在前几天的某个上午,跳楼结束了自己39岁的生命,对于她本人,我并不想多说,我全部的印象只是一个会唱几首流行度较高的歌曲的歌手而已,但就她的行为而言,却能够触动我内心里一根极纤细敏感的神经。这件事情发生以后,某网站迅速地为她推出一个专门的网页,标题就叫做“既然死都不怕,为何还怕活?”我觉的这位编辑出言差矣,并不是每个活着的人都有勇气去死,虽然这是迟早的事情,既然可以选择,那为什么不可以把活着的力量用在结束生命上?有人说她是因为感情不顺利而抑郁,斯人已去,说什么都无济于事,我却认为,她并非抑郁,每个敢于结束自己生命的人,其实都是在向往着更大的自由。生本不让人快乐,可所有人都还貌似快乐地活着,就是因为已经习惯了那种不自由,知道迟早有一天会解脱,所以才可以忍耐,当忍耐变成了一种习惯,快不快乐地活着,也就不那么重要。

        我曾经站在极高的楼层望向窗外,看到的真是一种诱惑,不是华丽的风景,也不是清新的空气,而是广阔且毫无遮蔽的天地,让人极想舒展身躯,做一次自由落体。每个人都象一颗固定轨道的微小而冰冷的行星,即使离的再近也不能彼此温暖,如果想要脱离轨道去追逐自由,换来的只能是彻底的毁灭,那种毁灭只在一个瞬间,就会变成无数的微尘,瓦解身体全部的结构,包括意志,包括理想,包括情感,包括可以看到的现实的一切。

        我欣赏这种勇气,却无法效仿,因为我身处的牢笼坚不可破,这牢笼罩在每个人的头顶,偏偏有人欢喜地以为那是一种庇护,而且甘愿为此沉沦,没有自由无所谓,做奴隶的感觉未尝不是美妙,芸芸众生,大家都可以适应,有几人可以为追求那看似莫须有的自由而以生命为代价呢,这真是一种悲哀。唯愿逝者在往生的自由天地里可以获得永久的解脱。

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